"Pornographer" because let's face it, if I photograph adult women in various states of undress even if the R-rated parts are covered, its automatically porn. A "predator" because adult women have chosen of their own free-will to shed their clothes in front of my camera. "TNT", you can thank my brother for that. A "bigot" because (as my old Marine Staff Sergeant used to say), "I'm an equal oppurtunity bigot, I just hate everybody." The "Flash" because I "move like a bolt of lightning" (the complete opposite of its context, LOL).
I'm even a self-described "fallen Catholic" because as a "smut peddler that exploits women", I'm surely going to burn in Hell. Better to laugh w/ the sinners than cry w/ the saints, I guess.
*cues evil laugh*
However, I don't think I've ever had any names given that had anything to do w/ my piety. That changed while at work a couple weeks ago.
As the story goes...
I was plugging away at the computer, minding my own business when a fellow coworker from another department comes over. She sits next to me & asks in a hushed tone, "I don't mean to be rude but (pausing) are you a rabbi?"
She was lucky & wasn't drinking my coffee because it would have sprayed out of my mouth in shock. Instead I repeated the question only louder but laughing. Still in seriousness she hushed me down again.
Once I was able to recompose myself, she explains about a swearing incident the previous day. Apparently a member of her own department & I were in the stock room moving boxes when a swearing incident came up. I never quite understood if I was the one flinging the expletative deleteds or the other guy. But she said, according to him, he was absolutely convinced I was a rabbi because of that incident as well as "how (I) carry myself."
Not quite sure what that means, is it my body-language? My Jack Webb "just the facts, ma'am" straight-laced demeanor because I'm focused on getting stuff done? W/ the beard, I could even see the Alec Guiness's Obi-Wan Kenobi thing. I dunno.
Anyways...I informed her that no, I went the complete other way, the proverbial drinking, whoring, carrowsing route.
Feeling conflicted, she next asked whether to set him straight or string him along. I of course told her to string him along. The man better pray that I never find out who he is because, oh boy, am I gonna have fun screwing w/ him. LOL
*sigh*
This is what happens when people automatically assume things w/o taking the 2 seconds to verify said information (something that I hate). Though this is a light-hearted, I've been on the receiving end of others where the effects were not so comedic.
Whatever, life goes on.
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In other news...
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This here is Brooke. She & her mom were gracious enough to indulge me w/ their participation in my ongoing abandonment series.
While shooting, Brooke accumulated a lot of dirt on her hands & then randomly started rubbing it all across her arms & face. It was one of those bizarre moments that fit what we were all doing & where I would never have planned it in a million years. It worked, so I just ran w/ it & we all still laugh about it to this day.
Feel free to comment, if you so choose.
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