Thursday, February 15, 2024

Jillian Durgin Passing & Thoughts


1. This post is bitter-sweet & I've been struggling to articulate my thoughts into words. However I'm going to try. 

It is with a heavy heart that Jillian Durgin, sometimes freelance model & founder of Ritual Fashion,  was in a tragic car accident outside her home in Rome, GA on 26 Aug, 2023. 

When I first heard the news, I didn't believe it. I knew she was going throughthe usual BS most public personalities have with online a**holes so I called her number & left a voicemail asking her to call me, hoping what I'd heard was a different Jillian. Came inside, Googled her name while I waited, & was devastated to read the first entry was an outside news report of the car accident. This was later confirmed when her family & company's Instagram spread the same news.



 Here is also a link the the remembrance page her family setup: https://www.masonfuneralhome.com/obituary/MsJillian-Durgin

Jillian came onto my radar back during the LiveJournal blogging days (2005'ish?) when she'd post both her modeling pictures as well as her unique fashion pieces & was captivated by her command presence.

We parted ways as so often happens in the age of social media til I found her again on yet another platform. Posted a throwaway comment not thinking anything would come of it since we were literally on opposite sides of the country, only to find out a couple weeks later she was trekking to the area. 

 "Do you still want to work together?" she basically asked. I'm like (eff) yeah! Figured out a place & time & went with it. 
 
Shoot day was a complete cluster(eff). It had more to do with it being literally the 1st nice day AFTER New York City loosened their Covid restrictions. Us Upstaters were already accustomed to the relatively loose restriction because of our rural culture but the location being an hour or two outside of NYC meant they all flocked to the lower Hudson Valley at the same time. 

Tried doing Plan A but that failed because of people. Then B, C, D, E & F. Please understand it was originally supposed to be a "nudes in nature" shoot but there was a crazy amount of people around, I'm not the type of photographer to push a model do something that "I" am uncomfortable having them do. The situation just sucked.

I was going to call it quits, more disgusted at the circumstance we found ourselves in until she pulls out one of her fashion pieces out of a giant duffel bag that probably about half her 3/4 o her bodyweight. In the back of my mind, I'm like "May as well!" LOL

 Migrated to a yet another part of the park again, to many people. So we continued to do clothed work. Tried the "nudes in nature" again & no joy. Taking that it was a sign from the Art Gods to go where the art flow is taking you, we continued to do more clothed stuff until the good light finally dictated we call it. 

We have since produced more interesting stuff but I here are a couple that fondly bring me back to that day.



I always appreciated Jillian's patience, creative drive, poise, as well as our long conversations. I will especially miss her kindness towards others & her drive to make this world a better place. 

 Jillian Ann Durgin, you will be missed.


2. Currently selling my work. If anything particular shot, any model, or any set interests you, please email me here

Just tell me what interests you & I'll see what I can do. I try to work within budgets but I'm also not going to like give them away for pennies on the US dollar.

Tuesday, December 5, 2023

One True Talent in Life Gabrielle

1. Gabrielle was a college Art History classmate of mine. 

With not a lot of persuasion, I coaxed her into a photoshoot. Nothing big or elaborate, just two creative individuals seeing where that creativity takes us.

Somewhere along the way she oh-so nonchalantly says, "Making goofy faces is my one true talent in life." So I of course asked her to prove it. 

This was the result:


I really appreciate people who can relax & poke fun at themselves. Its also a schtick I have Gabrielle do whenever we shoot to which she's been ever gracious to indulge.

I also distinctly remember it being an ultra cold day in March & having a 20-page term paper due the next day that had yet to be started. Priorities, right? I guess that's what A LOT of coffee is for.


2.  I'm currently selling my work. If anything particular shot, any model, or any set interests you, please email me here. 

Just tell me what interests you & I'll see what I can do. I try to work within people's budgets but I'm also not going to like give them away for pennies on the US dollar.

Monday, August 28, 2023

Avid Reader Jenna Q

1. The following recent shot reminds me a quaint incident I had with my first shoot with Jenna Q.


It was her 2nd semester at the local college & replied to an online ad I posted for a project that I either soon petered out or wasn't in the direction I was hoping for.

But whatever.

We kicked around other ideas & among those many emails she mentioned that she was an avid reader, with her favorite author being Kurt Vonnegut. So much so, she got "And So It Goes" tattooed along her ribcage. For those not in the know, its a frequent refrain in one of his most famous works.
Vonnegut is one of the most strangest authors I've ever encountered not because of his subject matter but his writing style. 

What do I mean? 

If you read multiple things from the same author, their flow & cadence is similar enough where you can kinda tell its from them. Its akin to a painter's brush stroke or a photographer's compositional eye or editing style. To the keen eye, you can tell its from the same creator.

However in the 5 of books I've read from Vonnegut; Slaughterhouse Five, Cat's Cradle, Breakfast of Champions, Player's Piano, & Timequake; that isn't REMOTELY the case. S5 is different from Cat, Cat is different from Breakfast & so on while no of those 5 have remotely the same flow read as any of the others.

But I digress.

In our preshoot conversations, Jenna mentioned that "Slaughterhouse Five" was her favorite book & she didn't have her own copy & was bummed  because if she wanted to reread it, she'd have to borrow it from the local library.

As a fellow book lover, I vowed to put a stop to that problem & purchased said copy.

At the end of our shoot, I gave & she opened the wrapped present & squealed with delight & jumped up & down with excitement. Seeing how happy the gift made her, brought a slight smile to my stoic face.

I don't care what people say, being nice matters. Kindness especially when there's nothing to be gained by the act, is a strength not a weakness.

I don't remotely pretend that I'm good at living up to those lofty ideals but it happened that day with Jenna.


2. Currently selling my work. If anything particular shot, any model, or any set interests you, please email me here


Just tell me what interests you & I'll see what I can do. I try to work within budgets but I'm also not going to like give them away for pennies on the US dollar.

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Riding the Pony with Faye Brandt

1. The shot below is titled, Riding the Pony & the framed print version was submitted to a gallery showing a number of years ago. I really don't name many of my pictures unless there submitted in a real world showing of some sorts. Nothing against it, I just shoot A LOT! And thinking up names for all the stuff I produce & edit gets exhausting!


This shot was also from my 1st shoot with Faye Brandt

She's a native New York City resident & loved the urban life whether it be walking her neighborhood streets at night, going to raves & clubs, & enjoying its hustle & bustle among other things. This aspect of her personality is where this ensemble came from.

The wooden pony is another one of those random finds in a former textile mill environment. Please don't ask me how or why it was there because I have no clue. 

Afterwards I heard noises on the other end of the mill floor. I saw multiple figures & told Faye & her friend to grab their things because we need to leave immediately. We did.

We h almost made it to our exit when we were spotted. "Hey, stop," the voice yelled. I whispered to ignore it & to walk faster hoping to get off the property in time. Again, "hey, stop" this time with him running over to us. There was no escaping. 

The gentleman reamed us out about trespassing. "With no signs, how were we supposed to know," I thought to myself but thought it wise to not say nothing. Meanwhile I apologize profusely & told him we were just art students taking pictures. He continued lecturing us almost from a script in how much he was losing with broken equipment & blah blah blah.

"I'm sorry, sir. We're artists & just wanted to take pictures for class" while holding up my camera & shaking it to call attention to my claim. 

He pauses for an agonizingly long time. "Oh! I thought you were vandals" & then goes on about the troubles he's had finding cigarettes & graffiti & broken industrial cleanup equipment & replaceing assorted damage from likely the bored neighborhood teens.

And as if this situation couldn't get more bizarre, he then introduces us to his two sons, Odin & Loki. Yes, you read that right, Odin & Loki. Why he brought his barely 2 10-year old boys into a derelict industrial site with broken glass & wood shards everywhere, I haven't a clue but considering our position felt it best NOT to ask. Nor as a mythology geek, did I ask about how Odin is the adopted father to Loki, all happening before the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But again, I digress.

The gentleman lets us leave after some small talk, where once we were clear the 3 of us breathed a sigh of relief.


2. I'm currently selling my work. If anything particular shot, any model, or any set interests you, please email me here

Just tell me what interests you & I'll see what I can do. I try to work within people's budgets but I'm also not going to like give them away for pennies on the US dollar.


3. Also for those not in the know, I've started a Patreon. The link is here.

Its a subscription based site where I offer considerably more of my work for a small monthly fee. Pictures obviously on the lowest tier while getting behind-the-scenes shots & videos to an interview series to anecdotes to blogs to hard copies prints, the higher the tier levels.

It may seem like much but every subscriber contributing helps fund more art creation for me to bring to the viewing masses.

Monday, November 14, 2022

Cammo Loving Charissa

 1. This shot is Charissa. She's a cammo lover which is probably helped that she was married to an active duty Marine.

This little piece was shot locally on her family's property during the dead of summer. If I'm remembering right, these were shot as extra "motivation" for her husband as he was off on a 3-month training exercise on the opposite side of the country.


This was also where I was introduced as"(her photographer). Such titles make me cringe but have since come around that there are certainly worse titles people can give. LOL


2. I'm currently selling my work. If anything particular shot, any model, or any set interests you, please email me here. Just tell me what interests you & I'll see what I can do. I try to work within people's budgets but I'm also not going to like give them away for pennies on the US dollar.

Wednesday, July 27, 2022

Lingerie Crash with Nicole

Nicole is a sister of a frequent collaborator & thus was familiar with my work. She reached out & wanted private pictures produced to give to her fiancee, a surprise Valentine's Day gift if you will.

We bounced ideas & what I was capable of, challenging because I usually take a hiatus during the winter time being that I have no studio & indoors lighting really doesn't play to my strengths.

However a photographer colleague knew of my plight & offered his place to shoot. I'm a fan of natural light, so I used his dining room that had a large window. 

During the runup to our planned shoot, we had a Nor'easter. Basically a large snowstorm x50 - large amounts of snow falling quicking + wind, making the driving conditions treacherous at best. The Nor'easter wasn't really a surprise because that's all the local newscast reports for days on end.

I called Nicole the night before & asked to be contacted PRIOR to leaving. She assured me she would, only to get a text the morning ofter that she was well on her way.

I'm grumbling because, she's local which means now I have to make my own drive to my photographer colleague's house for the shoot. The snow had mostly stopped but the roads weren't really clear, a trek I was NOT looking forward to making.

The journey was slow going for obvious reasons. The road conditions were complete sh*t & I'm just trying to be careful as I can to make it there in one piece. A  normal 1-hour trip was coming close to 3 hours.

I wasn't even 5 miles from my destination when I slid through an intersection & T-boned another driver. I was clearly at fault but am super thankful no one was hurt.

Called the photographer colleague for a rescue & was brought to the house. The girls would tell of their headache journey where their car did a 360 on the interstate yet thankfully were only the ones on the road.

After we shot & they brought me home. Nicole had extended family in the area & made it an excuse to visit them & we thus parted ways.

Nicole's original stipulation was that I was NOT to post her pictures anywhere online. However I approached her many years later with the intent to tell the story behind the shot you see here & she just laughed & was like "go for it," so I have. I guess time & having a couple of kids with said loving fiancee (now husband) evaporated whatever concerns she had at the time. Or at least that's my guess.

There were some serious ramifcation of totaling my car but think I'll save that for another time.


We did a lot of great stuff during this shoot but the above is probably my favorite. I'm liking the light & shadow play, complimented by her athletic physique (though 'm not sure it translated in this picture) yet contrasted by her lacey lingerie outfit.


2. I'm currently selling my work. If anything particular shot, any model, or any set interests you, please email me here. Just tell me what interests you & I'll see what I can do. I try to work within people's budgets but I'm also not going to like give them away for pennies on the US dollar.


Monday, March 21, 2022

Breast Cancer Awareness with Ann & Ashley

1. What y'all are seeing is a Breast Cancer Awareness shoot w/ Ashley & her mom Ann. The original intent was to make it as simple as I could get - a black & white rendering with only the pink ribbon (or the tatoo) being the only thing in color. 

I put out a casting on one of the many social media sites I used at the time & Ashley responded & her mom, a Breast Cancer survivor tagged along. I did a number of shots of Ashley & asked if her mom if wanted to participate herself despite being 2 weeks post-op from a double mastectomy. She was all for it.

We were both in the moment. Anne doing her thing, me focusing on camera setting & composition & simply trying to stay focused (no pun intended). At one point, she was about to showcase her still visible sutures & me about to shoot her when her daughter put a stop to it. It was probably for the best.

With the exception of documenting Ground Zero less than 2 months after the attacks, this remains one of my most emotionally grueling shoots. 






Hope you enjoy.


2. I'm currently selling my work. If anything particular shot, any model, or any set interests you, please email me here. Just tell me what interests you & I'll see what I can do. I try to work within people's budgets but I'm also not going to like give them away for pennies on the US dollar.