Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Spirit Day Reflections

I was perfectly willing to keep my mouth shut & remain neutral but something recent has compelled me to speak.

Facebook & other online communites started a "Wear Purple for Spirit Day on Oct 20th" in response to raising awareness about teen bullying & the recent high profile suicides surrounding the LGBTA community.

Speaking from someone who was a bully victim, I sympathize.

I graduated in the pre-Columbine school environment where bullying awareness was next to nill. I've been knocked out by a sleeper hold, pelted w/ a broom handle like its a baseball bat, hip-checked against a locker, countless bloody noses, glasses broken, name-called relentlessly, being spat-on, had another guy climb onto a locker & jump off it WWE style hitting me in the head... & those were just the guys. The girls were even nastier in their own way because they mess w/ your head w/ rumors.

What helped back then (especially in middle school) was I had a life outside of the school environment. It also didn't hurt I was ingrained to stand up for myself by my parents. But if I started shit, I was left to be high & dry where I deserved.

Many people simply don't have that support in life. When there is no hope & a person feels like no one is or willing to listen to them, suicide (among many other things) looks like a pretty attractive alternative. Lord knows I've known many a Marine brother who has at least thought about eating their weapon because they simply didn't know how to handle the transition or knew where to get help. The lack of adequate Mental Health Services has never been great for our servicemen (in comparison to standard medical aid) but that's for another story.

It saddens me that the Spirit Day promotion w/ so much potential leaves my stomach empty.

Contrary to how it was made out, bullying nor suicide is a phenomenon limited to the LGBTA demographic. I think that's what angers me the most. The event didn't try to raise money for organizations that address the bullying or suicide prevention issue. It didn't try to educate, nor point the victims to resources they could turn to in their hour of need. It didn't try to educate a victims friends on what they can do to help stop the bullying or be on the look-out if their friend is feeling so helpless they'll kill themselves.

It also neglects that just because one leaves the academic environment, it doesn't mean the bullying all of a sudden stops. Assholes are something people simply have to deal w/ ALL their lives whether its the idiot boss taking advantage of his position of power or the inconsiderate coworker refusing to use their indoor voice which effects your job performance because you cannot concentrate or the rural police officer giving you a hard time because they can or the college roommate who you despise or the boyfriend being in the mood when you're not or someone in the other department making shit up about you instead of *gasp* actually asking you in person or the wife nagging you to fix the fence when all you want to do is grab a nice cold one after working a 12-hour shift. (Some of these are hyperbole but they're all symptoms of the same thing, the application of power)

I see Spirit Day (at least how it was executed) as being similar to those bull-shitty "1-day not Buying Gas" protests. Its like people waving their arms, giving the impression they're "doing something" when what they're ACTUALLY doing is barely anything at all.

Don't get me wrong, its nice to complain an injustice but that only does so much.

If people want to address this problem, the victims really need to speak up & tell someone & keep speaking up until someone will listen AND will actually do something about it before it reaches a boiling point. They can't be subtle about it either. An argument I've heard against that suggestion is that it makes the bullying worse. I agree but in our society (especially within an academic environment), people have to be told what they're doing wrong, how inappropriate it is, & allow them to correct their actions. Think about it, if you get robbed & fail to report it to the police, you've forfeited your right to complain that the cops aren't doing anything about it. Its the same premise.

If speaking up about it does not stop it, victims needs stand up for themselves. Violence is rarely a good initial response but sometimes it IS necessary.

Furthermore if some schmuck online is relentlessly talking trash about you (trust me, there are & will be no shortage of them), get off the freakin' computer or learn about the block feature the person from your favorite social networking page. Do some activity & (try to) make friends outside of the school environment. It may be petty but take solace in making something out of your life when you graduate so you can drive the proverbial knife at your haters come the 20-year high school reunion by being rich & marrying a hot spouse. At the very least people really need to grow a thick skin.

In fairness, some of these solutions are overly simplistic but its a better start than simply "showing" solidarity, solidarity, solidarity & doing nothing about it once the day is over.

These are simply my views. If these makes me "insensitive", then, well, I'm sorry to hear but I'm hardly going to lose sleep over it.


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In other news...
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This here is an oldie but goodie of Gabrielle, messing around w/ her little brother.

Working w/ certain people just feels right regardless of the actual results. Gabrielle is in this category.

Photobucket

Feel free & comment away on any part of this if you so desire.

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